Today my 92-year-old friend and mentor called me. I hardly recognized his voice, it was so barely audible. “I’m becoming weaker every day,” he said. “It’s happening very fast.”
We spoke for only a few minutes. He was returning a call I’d placed before Christmas, and he was apologetic it had taken him so long to get back to me. I had wanted to ask his advice about something, but I decided not to burden him today. He was too weak and tired to discuss anything.
Something about the call told me that now is the time the baton was being passed. The time is now past when I might turn to him for wisdom and strength. From now on it is I who must be wise and strong. He has imparted to me all he has to give. I am the old man now.
As adult children, we grieve every decrease in our parents’ functioning. This man was not my father, but he has filled that role for me for more than 25 years since we met on a mountaintop in Switzerland.
A wise man once said that all the art of living lies in a fine balancing of letting go and holding on. Some think that holding on is a mark of strength; but sometimes the strength is in letting go. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are some things that can no longer be. I will always hold on to what my mentor has taught me.
I think of the strength of bamboo in the wind. The bamboo doesn’t try to stand up straight and erect. A tree or branch that tries too hard to stand up straight is the one that breaks off. The bamboo allows itself to bend and be blown with the wind. It knows the strength of letting go.
۞
Groove of the Day
