I remember the time I disclosed to a friend (an older man, retired, who had developed a successful law practice) that I had taken an interest in helping a pair of parricide brothers. He was an extremely conservative man, and what he said surprised me. “The father probably deserved it.”
At the time, I was still learning the ropes of this strange realm, I was still unsure of how I felt about so many things, and you could have bowled me over. But it is now nine years later, and my friend’s reaction has proved true in case after case. The state of parenting—the state of humanity—is simply appalling.
I can never understand how a parent can inflict such lifelong damage on their children through abuse. The childhood years are so formative, it takes years (if ever) to get over it. But the abuser is so selfish, controlling, self-absorbed, and addled by alcoholism or personal perversions, he or she probably never seriously considers it.
Because of my involvement with juvenile parricides, a surprising number of adults confide in me that they experienced horrendous sexual, emotional, and physical abuse when they were children. Most have never gotten over it.
A couple of veterans told me that the military offered the only alternative they could think of at the time to killing their abuser. Besides, the military offered freedom, guns, and the opportunity to release their rage by killing people and getting away with it.
Was this the best choice for them? Given the lifetime of pain and addiction they have experienced at the hands of the VA, I’d have to respond probably not.
One friend kept telling me that he was a “scary guy” who needed to be handled carefully. I was never afraid of him. Yet I was shocked when he offered to practice his craft as a sniper on someone who was suing me at the time. Our friendship was sealed by the offer, but I responded “No Thanks.” There wasn’t anything for the plaintiff to get for his efforts, even if he’d won his lawsuit. Anyway, I wasn’t that angry.
No one I loved had ever abused me as a child.
Groove of the Day