Archive for September 6th, 2011


somber day

You would think I would be over it by now, but I am not. This is the eighteenth anniversary of my wife’s death.

I haven’t been able to get much of anything productive done today. I made coffee and breakfast. Hard-boiled a pot of eggs. Made a few phone calls and answered a few e-mails. Read a little. Napped a lot.

I’m not depressed. I’m just not motivated and very tired.

As I type these words, this is the moment she breathed her last breath, eighteen circuits around the sun ago. Her breathing faded away so gently, so imperceptibly, my mother-in-law had to tell me she was gone. I was sitting on the bed with her, gazing upon her face, and yet I missed it. As I think about it now, it was as if I had been watching a drop of water evaporate, but the change was so gradual I did not see the exact last moment pass.

She tried to tell me something before she died, but I could not make out her words. She never spoke again.

Life is like that sometimes. Things missed. Things lost.



Groove of the Day 

Listen to David Zinman conducting Henryk Gorecki’s “Symphony No. 3, Op. 36, Second Movement”

(Symphony of Sorrowful Songs)