Archive for September 6th, 2011

06
Sep
11

somber day

You would think I would be over it by now, but I am not. This is the eighteenth anniversary of my wife’s death.

I haven’t been able to get much of anything productive done today. I made coffee and breakfast. Hard-boiled a pot of eggs. Made a few phone calls and answered a few e-mails. Read a little. Napped a lot.

I’m not depressed. I’m just not motivated and very tired.

As I type these words, this is the moment she breathed her last breath, eighteen circuits around the sun ago. Her breathing faded away so gently, so imperceptibly, my mother-in-law had to tell me she was gone. I was sitting on the bed with her, gazing upon her face, and yet I missed it. As I think about it now, it was as if I had been watching a drop of water evaporate, but the change was so gradual I did not see the exact last moment pass.

She tried to tell me something before she died, but I could not make out her words. She never spoke again.

Life is like that sometimes. Things missed. Things lost.

 

۞

Groove of the Day 

Listen to David Zinman conducting Henryk Gorecki’s “Symphony No. 3, Op. 36, Second Movement”

(Symphony of Sorrowful Songs)