Archive for November 7th, 2011

07
Nov
11

parting thoughts

I hate to admit it, but yesterday’s announced “emergence” from my health difficulties was illusory and premature.

Today I seem to have been suffering a setback. It is after midnight and I cannot go to sleep. If I lie down I cannot breathe. I am gradually regaining my composure after experiencing an extended period of breathless, suffocating panic an hour and twenty minutes ago. The perspiration is finally evaporating from my brow.

Part of me would be content to be dead, but I do not want to go this way. The sense of panic is all wrong. I want a sense of stillness, peace, and order when my time comes.  Anyway, there are too many loose ends, too much unfinished business for me to go now. I refuse to let this be my time. I’ll concentrate on breathing and calming myself.

۞

I wrote that last night, intending to write more, but I did not write more. I sat in the wingback chair, bundled in a sleeping bag, and thought instead about all those damned loose ends—organizing them in my head—about “last instructions” for my sister, legal documents that still need to be drafted and signed, my kids and other people like my godmother with whom I need to talk at least one more time—and about places and people I used to know in my childhood hometown, people I haven’t seen or even thought about in forty years or more (What ever happened to them? Are their parents still alive? Do they still own that lake cabin after all this time?)—and then, thankfully, finally, fitfully… sleep.

I also thought about you and what I would do to wrap up this blog if my checkout time were now. What parting thoughts would I wish to leave with you?

Hmmm… that’s a pretty interesting writing assignment, isn’t it? Okay, so here goes. (None of this will be new to you, but maybe it will turn out to be a sufficiently neat and tidy package.)

I’m convinced that we are defying nature in the way we raise and educate our kids and that we are committing slow suicide as a society. The two-income family, the single-parent family, the abdication of parenting to the schools and of moral education to the television set—all these trends are accelerating a general drift in our society towards political and economic slavery, loss of personal responsibility, materialistic mind control, and government tyranny.

If you want to fix your world, the most important things you can do are to think for yourself, work on your marriage, make your family the center of your world, and take back your children from the authority of the school and state.

Wake up, stand up. You are not free as long as you allow the schools to control the life and health of your family and define your children’s futures. How far and how fast you are able to take this advice is up to you and to the practical limitations of your situation, but the essential thing is that you take back authority from the state and exercise that authority in your personal and family life. You are a sovereign human being subject only to the moral strictures of creating and preserving a healthy and loving family within the context of a free and just society.

If you got this right, everything in your life would fall into place. If everybody got it right, a marvelous chain reaction would ensue and the world—or at least big chunks of it—would be a wonderful place to live.

As the world stands right now, I wouldn’t feel sorry for myself if I keeled over tomorrow and was done with it. At least I’ve spoken my mind. Yet as long as I do live, it will be this distilled view that will guide my own priorities and actions.

Just as I’m preparing to post this entry my sister has called to tell me my godmother died last night—maybe at the very time I was thinking of her. It makes me wonder if I was having a sympathetic experience last night.

۞ 

Groove of the Day 

Listen to The Roches performing “Runs In the Family”