Archive for November 14th, 2011



People thought Texas Governor George W. Bush was a hard ass because he oversaw the executions of 152 people during his term of office. People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has overseen at least 236 executions, more than any governor in modern history.

When asked in a September Republican presidential debate whether he ever lost any sleep over the possibility that someone innocent was executed Perry said, “No, sir. I’ve never struggled with that at all.” George W. Bush never admitted to having any doubts or second thoughts, either.

Rick Perry, like George Bush, is a master of malapropisms and prone to misstatements. One of my favorites from last year: “George W. Bush did an incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom.”

But with last week’s debate brain freeze, Perry has put his own presidential campaign in a tough corner and maybe even killed its chances of success. Let’s hope this is so. Here are at least three compelling reasons why Rick Perry should not be President:

#1  IMAGE  “Perry is a mix between George W. Bush and Yosemite W. Sam.” ~Jimmy Kimmel  “Rick Perry is now the front runner. Of course they’re letting him run in front. Because he’s the one with the gun.” ~Stephen Colbert  “Perry is an attractive candidate for many conservatives, because he wants smaller government, to cut national spending, and he knows how to fire a grenade launcher. He’s like the Sarah Palin of politics.” ~Jimmy Kimmel  

#2  BRAINS  “It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.” ~Jimmy Fallon  “Texas Governor Rick Perry distanced himself from George W. Bush by saying, ‘I went to Texas A&M. He went to Yale.’ In other words, his idea of instilling confidence is by saying, ‘Don’t worry. I’m not as smart as George W. Bush.'” ~Conan O’Brien  “It turns out that Texas Gov. Rick Perry got a D in Principles of Economics. So he can’t be president, but he can get a job on President Obama’s economic team.” ~Jay Leno

#3  OOPS  “Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won’t even remember them.” ~Jimmy Fallon 


Groove of the Day 

Listen to Steve Earle performing “Ellis Unit One”