Archive for April 11th, 2013

11
Apr
13

self-reliance

I was awakened from a sound sleep last night by Paul Gingerich with news that Paul Henry’s new waiver hearing has been scheduled for June 4th.

“Do you want to come?” Paul asked.

I told him that travel is very difficult post-stoke. “I am very frail. I don’t think so. I think I must stay here.”

Other people think I am better than I am. I still slur my words, but they don’t hear it. Maybe they don’t want to.

I went into Terlingua yesterday for ice and other provisions, my first solo trip, and it took everything I had in me to make the trip. Five hours total, and by the time I had returned, I wanted only to collapse on the sofa. This is where Paul found me when he called.

I could not have made it here without the assistance of other people. I am very thankful. I have relied on others, mostly for rides into town, but I have appreciated it when visitors have come to just sit with me.

From the beginning, the most difficult thing has been maintaining the fine balance between dependence on others and self-reliance. People want to be generous, but in this place especially, they are intolerant of excessive dependency. I have heard from at least seven people with questions about another who is excessively dependent and has therefore been cut off, phone calls unanswered or left unreturned. Thankfully this has not happened to me.

People are accepting of one’s being human, but not being weak. This attitude makes us stronger and is to be embraced.

۞

Groove of the Day

Listen to Chicago performing “Feeling Stronger Every Day”