not a fan

facebook - over it

I can’t understand the fascination with Facebook. It doesn’t make any sense to me at all. When I do go out there to see what my “friends” are saying, more often than not I’m disappointed. Few pearls of wisdom there.

Notice I didn’t say “no pearls.”

I did learn that my friend John has married. Congrats. I did see some of my niece’s wedding pictures. Beautiful. And I see that my cousin is making a trip from Florida to our hometown. Have a good time.

But I’m not interested in your on-line games or that you need a token for Farmville or a patch for your virtual merit badge vest. You’re not even a Boy Scout, for god’s sake. You’re a grown adult with real things to do, and from what I can see, you’re not doing them.

Because of the irrelevencies you bring into my timeline, I would like to “unfriend” you, except that I know this would hurt your real feelings…and I would sooner die than do that. It would also reflect badly on the person you and I both sort of know.

So I guess I’m stuck with my “friends” and all the ads for language programs and other “Suggested Posts” which I see are beginning to creep into my timeline. I like the girls in bikinis, but I assure you, they’re no one I know.

Please know that I have little to do with Facebook and endorse none of it.

In fact, I pretty much ignore it.

I can (and do) get into enough trouble on my own.


Groove of the Day 

Listen to The Lovin’ Spoonful performing “Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?”


14 Responses to “not a fan”

  1. July 29, 2013 at 3:24 am

    Tonight has definately been interesting to me. I sat down and started writing as I normally would trying to get this book done that seems like its taking forever and it seems like I have no support no one understands and I’m tired of just feeling alone..so like always I turn the computer off and I get online. I started on the Pendulum just because of my Google search. Now I don’t Google this topic very often for fear mostly and also because it’s a hit in the face it’s a reality and I rather stay in my own world so to speak even if I am trying to outreach even if I am trying to help even if I am trying to shed light on the subject that no one wants to talk about.

    So… when I went to the site there were a list of names that begin to scroll on the left hand side and I watched intently. I don’t know whether I was extremely happy that my name didn’t show up or if I was a little upset that it didn’t show up. Either way it gave me a sense of purpose to even make this comment. Not only do I realize that I can’t do this on my own but for me, it was twisted to even think that there was anyone out there that would be willing to help.

    I killed my mom when I was 12. I spent juvenile life in an institution where I had several accounts of molestation of staff. I was sexually abused, bullied, taunted and I felt like removing myself from the equation would solve the problem. That was the goal. To die. But I shot her instead. The counselors and staff inside of the system had a really hard time putting me in a box. It was hard for them to accept the fact that I didn’t fit the profile. And even at one point it was the conclusion that my mother abused me. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I had to squash that lie and search for the truth on my own and I did.

    I have a heart and passion as a Parent Coach and a Youth Advocate simultaneously. Besides the raw experience that everyone may not be able to grasp, I too- am a parent now I know that it’s hard to do both. However I sat in group after group year after year day after day sometimes twice a day sometimes more than twice a day listening to the girls tell their stories. I promised myself that I would somehow be in position to speak on behalf of those who can’t. I chose to wait until I was able to talk to my daughter before telling the world my story. She does. She told me to go for it. I am a Christian and I’m involved in youth ministry, however, I’m not boxed in. I will be done with my book soon. I do have a desire to speak and to help people become aware that what you do does not always define who you are. Everyone who knows me knows about my past and sometimes it’s hard for them to believe because of who I am and that i am authentic, real, overly positive. What bothers them the most– I believe is that they can’t connect that 12 year old with me now. I think that in this case lies the question can a child commit a crime like this, serve a juvenile sentence and be productive in society. My answer is not only can we, but from my experience and confidence level, we can do this thing called life better than those who have not committed a crime. Not only am I an outstanding citizen, but an even better parent because of this. I was introduced to and have lived by the Survivors Creed — particularly the last line. “I may never forget, but I need not constantly remember.

    How can I help?

  2. 3 Kathe Murphy
    July 29, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Someday soon I’ll call you to catch up. Just checking in. Lots of summer company now. Much love…Murph

  3. July 29, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    A friend sent me this article, which I thought you’d enjoy:

    On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog
    by patrickhirigoyen

    We live in a time when public opinion on many issues is almost evenly divided, when politics has changed from a search TCB-22230for compromise to the “permanent campaign” of “us versus them,” and when, as a result, discourse and debate often devolves into a coarse exchange of personal attacks and disrespect.

    In this environment, have social media and online communications only made things worse, giving many the anonymity to engage in personal attacks and even hate speech? And what are the implications for influencers, communicators and others who work within open and free channels of communications?

    I’ve often wondered about this when, after reading articles online, I’ve perused the “comments” section that follows, only to find it full of name-calling and extremism. But, after ignoring such vitriol, I was struck by a recent New York Times op-ed column by Joe Nocera.

    Referring to Twitter, and why he doesn’t Tweet, Nocera wrote: “What I object to most of all is that, like other forms of social media, Twitter can be so hateful. It can bring out the worst in people, giving them license to tweet things they would never say in real life.”

    He then referred to an “investor and CNBC commentator,” who “regularly tweeted his investment insights,” and had 63,000 followers. But the commentator withdrew from Twitter because of nasty and foul messages. “I received several life-threatening tweets,” he told Nocera. “I concluded it wasn’t work navigating the sharks to find the good fish.”

    So, it’s at least worth reflecting on whether social media have opened new avenues for hateful anonymous speech that will only continue to worsen public discourse. Thought leaders in public relations and marketing commented that such speech is an unfortunate but not unexpected byproduct of developments in media, yet media and communications professionals can play a role in addressing it.

    Just ignore it?

    Although such online disrespect seems to be increasing, it’s important note that, as with speech in other media, many are ignoring it it.

    “If I had 63,000 followers, I’d put up with a few social media shark bites,” commented Ron Culp, public relations consultant (formerly, general manager of Ketchum PR’s Chicago office) and now professional director of the graduate program in public relations and advertising at DePaul University. “Anonymous social media comments — both negative and positive — carry little weight with most readers, so throwing in the towel over a few discouraging comments seems a bit thin skinned.”

    Likewise, Augie Ray, a social media leader at an East Coast-based Fortune 100 company, pointed to how anonymity and public discourse aren’t necessarily compatible, and how readers can avoid the vitriol by frequenting platforms where commenters identify themselves.

    “I’m increasingly a fan of dialog in places where anonymity is not the rule or where moderation is possible,” Ray said. “For example, I’ve observed Facebook being used for more professional and political discourse than was common years ago.

    “I think there will always be a place for the open, anonymous dialog on places like Twitter (where I’ve never had a problem with nasty or threatening tweets, by the way), but I also think the benefits of civil discourse are easier to achieve when people have to be themselves, where community managers moderate discussions or where reputation matters.”

    When reputation matters

    That’s perhaps the key word for public relations, marketing and other professionals who ply their trades in communications and media: reputation. For professionals whose responsibility is to manage reputation, should we care about the coarseness and vitriol seen on social media?

    “You bet we should care,” responded Fraser Seitel, New York-based public relations consultant, adjunct professor at New York University and television commentator on news communications and marketing-related topics. “Social media devices are compulsory tools for public relations,” Seitel said. “But they are just ‘tools.’ What matters much more than a facility with social media is knowledge, counsel and judgment.”

    Social media, Seitel added, “has not only made coarseness and vindictiveness a prevalent no-risk proposition, but it also has given voice to unknowledgeable, inexperienced, no-talent novices parading as experts; who lower the standards of that on which they opine.

    “For public relations people who should be concerned about ‘standards,’ social media pose a new threat to the perception of the field’s professionalism,” Seitel said.

    That’s a pretty strong statement, underscoring the special responsibilities of those who work in communications. In light of the comments of Tim Brunelle, a Minneapolis-based brand strategist, such risks and responsibilities have already existed in other areas.

    “The Internet (and social media specifically) are duel-edged,” Brunelle said. “They empower — but that gives fuel to the best and worst of humanity. The same is true of the printed word, of art, of science.

    “It’s just easier to run into mean-spiritedness and cruelty in the new social spaces,” Brunelle added. “And let’s not forget that social media is a child, very few years old. Children are cruel.”

    We’ve been here before

    Nocera and his friend, therefore, may have been started at what they encountered on social media, but I believe their response – to withdraw from it – is incorrect. The duty of commentators like them, or public relations and marketing professionals who listen to such teachers as Ray, Culp, Seitel and Brunelle, is to remain in the realm of social media, adhering to professional standards by exhibiting reason, respect, and decency.

    John Milton wrote almost 400 years ago that competition in the marketplace of ideas is the only way to ensure the best ideas prevail. Today, the same principle applies to the tone and manner of public speech: as social media are used to enlighten and inform, rather than degrade and defame, more will focus on the former and ignore the latter.

    That, perhaps, is one of the great potential opportunities of social media: to elevate public discourse as the public is exposed to more information and more points of view.

    What, then, is your view? Do you agree or disagree? And have the comments of some on social media caused you to withdraw from it, or to participate with a better type of public discourse?

    patrickhirigoyen | July 29, 2013 at 12:38 pm

  4. 6 MichaelT
    July 29, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    I think Facebook can be whatever you want to make of it.

    On the bright side, it has put me back in touch with friends I had lost touch with literally 40 years ago, some of whom I have gone on to meet again in person so we could rekindle our relationship.

    For a self-employed person like myself it can also serve as a good business tool, keeping your name out there in front of people who work in your field. My own work has benefited tremendously from this type of networking.

    It’s easy to block people’s irrelevant posts, for example, anything Farmville related never shows up when I look.

    The other key is to avoid the temptation to jump into political discussions. You’re unlikely to ever convince someone to switch their own way of thinking, and it can quickly descent into ugliness. I will quickly “unfriend” people who post crazy political stuff. My other rule is that I only “friend” people who I actually know in the real world.

  5. 7 Aimee
    July 29, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    Dan, I don’t want this to sound snarky, but maybe it’s a generation gap thing. I use Facebook as entertainment only. When it stops being entertaining and fun, I’ll stop using it. I will speak for myself on this one and say, I find it useful in keeping in touch with my family and friends in other locations. It’s an easy release after a stressful day. I have 4 kids, one of which is severely mentally handicapped. I don’t get to go out and do fun things like “average” people do. I wish I did, but I don’t. When I take my kid out to the grocery store, people stare like they can catch it! I’m strapped to my house pretty much all of the time except when I go to work. I work at the humane society with 4 people!!! I don’t get a lot of social interaction there. I talk to the cats! So I take offense when I hear people, and you’re not the first, that get their feathers in a fluff, over people that enjoy Facebook “so much.”

    I’m a funny person. I have 4 kids. They’re funny. I have two dogs and a cat. Guess what? They’re funny too! So I put them on Facebook and the majority of my friends enjoy my interactions. I have some friends out there that do nothing but talk about politics, NOTHING. I don’t enjoy that, so I scroll on by. I don’t care if other people don’t enjoy my Facebook page. It’s mine!!!! Please don’t think that I don’t do anything else with my life just because Facebook page is humorous and not filled with political innuendo. I choose not to partake in that on purpose.

  6. 8 Connor L
    July 29, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    But Dan! if you don’t have Facebook, then how will you know what people are doing 24/7! like brushing their teeth, or going to bed! haha

  7. 9 Jeanne
    August 1, 2013 at 7:41 pm

    And how would you know who is eating roast beef “yum” for dinner? Lol!

  8. 11 Roderick
    August 15, 2013 at 12:29 am

    Simply wished to express Now i am lucky I came onto your website.

  9. 12 stephen yates
    November 22, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    Whilst we dont see eye to eye on gun law I couldnt agree with you more regarding Facebook. I loathe it almost as much as google plus. But it is, I reluctantly have to admit, a way of keeping in touch with friends and relatives – a replacement for the old-style round-robin christmas letters perhaps.

  10. July 24, 2014 at 5:48 am

    Very good blog post. I absolutely love this website.
    Stick with it!

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