It has been nearly ten months since my stroke, and I think I have passed the milestone analogous to February 12 when even the insensitive eye can perceive the return of light to the year. My friends with whom I have maintained telephone communications have told me my voice is getting noticeably stronger and more like my pre-stroke self. Last week I noticed that my stamina is returning to the “old me.” But there is still a long way to go. My capacities are still much-diminished and improving very slowly.
I am fortunate.
This past year has been quite a lesson in patience for me. I have been affirmed in my conviction that the best “medicine” for me is to remain on the land, whatever it takes. I still sleep about half the day and it takes me weeks or months to accomplish even the simplest of tasks around the house, but I am still here. I have returned to a state of being productive for juvenile parricides, and I am thankful for this. Second to only remaining on the land, productivity has been my salvation. My traveling days are over, though, I fear for the rest of my life. But I am not complaining. I am content with what I am able to do with my life.
I have learned a lot from the examples of people around me, most notably my son Henry, who lost his job this spring. He had been working for a terrible company which squandered his potential, and he stuck it out for five years despite my urgings for the last couple years for him to find a position with a firm that valued him and would provide him with the support to realize his immense gifts. He did not waste a lot of time nursing his wounds and feeling sorry for himself, but instead submitted over 260 on-line applications in three months and attended countless interviews where he endured numerous rejections. But we knew all would turn out well because he was offered a quality job within two weeks of being available… too early, as it turned out. Now he has learned much about the job market, about himself, and has found a manager who cares about his welfare and an organization that appears willing to invest in his career advancement. So my son is no longer among the ranks of the unemployed, and he has done it all by himself and by being disciplined.
Bad things happen to good people all the time. The world and fate are not fair. The important things are to be thankful for what you still have and to not spend excessive time mourning what is lost. To remain a positive thinker despite whatever stupidity and disappointment you encounter. To be patient and never lose faith. To persevere.
Groove of the Day