in the background

background 1

I’m supremely dedicated to it, but some days I hate this blog. Every day, relentlessly, it demands to be written… even when nothing particularly interesting is happening… and even when everything that’s interesting is going on in the background and cannot be publicly known. Some days I can get off easy just posting a photo and a song, but that can only go on so long. I know you expect more.

Most of what this work entails needs to stay in the background. If you have been following the comments about Austin Eversole, you get an inkling of how complicated these family situations can be when parricide is involved. He said, she said. Shame. Anger. Blame and recriminations. Carefully-constructed explanations that cannot be maintained when disinterested third parties begin to peel back the onion of truth. The process takes its own time and requires steps that are private and respectful of everyone involved. A process that makes it possible for everyone to maintain their dignity and be as much as they can be.

Then there is the curious and very public business of Carlos Lundy and his lawsuit. I have still not been legally served with a complaint. The best I can figure is that Carlos is threatening to sue me. He claims that it is a case of mistaken identity and that I have defamed him. But the threat of a lawsuit in the very court that handed down an unfair sentence to his son is a curious way to state his claim. My belief is that Colt’s sentence undermines anything on which this court should rule—criminal or civil.

From the beginning, I have been mystified by all that Carlos has done. Rather than counseling his son to dispute the findings of the Kosciusko County court, he has urged Colt to lie down and serve the sentence quietly. While we had always hoped to come to Colt’s defense, his father reportedly left an obscene and threatening phone call telling us in no uncertain terms to back off—and we did. Carlos always came off to me as someone with something to hide, and not as someone who cared first and foremost about his son. I am open to accepting his claim of mistaken identity and present proof of his innocence, but I have been warned off this position by a major news organization which has conducted its own independent research and concluded that Carlos’ background is “dodgy.”

It is beside the point, anyway. Carlos and I should be working on the same side for Colt, and not be adversaries. I am still willing to work for Colt, but I won’t go where I’m not wanted. The son is the most sympathetic victim here, not Carlos. The preponderance of evidence says that young people are hard-wired not to harm a parent—even a stepfather—unless something went terribly wrong in their upbringing. What family secrets are so fearsome that they are being kept under wraps?

As I have said in my comments to Austin Eversole’s sister-in-law, it gives me no joy or satisfaction to delve into families’ dysfunction and pain. I have worked a lifetime to live free of it myself, and I am not one to go looking for trouble that can and should be avoided. But I won’t flinch from it, either, if it will help resolve a young person’s personal turmoil.

Yet focusing on the young person alone is not enough. Regardless whether they take it or not, all families must have the opportunity to learn, heal, and grow from the devastation of parricide. Otherwise they only contribute to the problem.


Groove of the Day 

Listen to Third Eye Blind performing “The Background”

1 Response to “in the background”

  1. 1 aubri
    September 20, 2013 at 1:42 am

    You are a very good man, Dan, and you do an excellent job at running this blog. Even on the days that you only see fit to post a photo and a song, it still shows the dedication you have for this blog and to its followers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: