She is correct in her assessment of my high spirits, but what she does not realize is that my mood is the result of more than just Alex’s company (which is very pleasant, nonetheless). No, it arises more from what his presence here means, and what his acceptance of Estrella Vista is all about. In short, it means that all my efforts of the last nine years have not been delusional, even though I have had my low moments when ………………………………………………………………………………………………..self-doubt has shook me to the core.
As BobH’s comment to a recent post makes clear, it is very difficult to keep keeping on for these kids when you receive no feedback that you’re on the right track. The only thing that has kept me on my particular path is my hard-headedness (which is sometimes less pejoratively called “grit”). Despite having no positive feedback and a little bit of negative feedback, I have stubbornly soldiered on with the vision when it appeared that Derek and Alex were on courses that kept them miles and miles from West Texas.
In line with my recent post “In Its Own Time,” I simply had to wait a few years until Alex had exhausted other possibilities for his life. He needed to “clear the decks” before he would be ready for Estrella Vista.
But I knew the first night that he arrived that all would work out well. The clue? In the People magazine story about the King Brothers, I had seen the photo that showed that Alex had covered his arms in tattoos, but I had no idea what imagery he had chosen. It was only when we were together that I discovered he is covered in runes.
Runes, for god’s sake! Where else but Estrella Vista could he have gone where his rune tattoos would not only be accepted, but the depth of the lifelong commitment to them would be appreciated? Alex’s spiritual beliefs and mine are not exactly the same, but they overlap enough that I know I can be of assistance to him on a deep level, just as children who are raised in the same faith as their parents can benefit from the coherence of belief with their folks.
If Alex were to live just about any other place but here, he would probably encounter a certain amount of social approbation from Bible-thumpers who would be alarmed by his runes. Here, Alex is calling the shots for himself. If his body were covered with Christian symbols, it would be no different. This place is above all about freedom of personal expression, as long as no one is hurt by whatever you do.
I asked him to pick today’s Groove of the Day, and this is what he chose. Hope you don’t bust an eardrum on it.
Groove of the Day