Archive for March 8th, 2015




A couple days ago, Lone Heron called me for her weekly check-in, and I took the opportunity to ask her if she’d read my post “The Power of Paradox.” I had just received a comment from Anonymouse in which he’d lambasted the post as being too facile and overestimating the ability of kids to forge a new way.

“Oh, that it was so easy,” he said, “but you cannot expect a young person/child to understand such personal power dynamics; that requires perspective and a sense of self-worth, something that the egocentric child usually lacks the experiences to develop.”

If the post made any impression, said Lone Heron, “it underscores the fact that I am a very creative person. We parricides are above all survivors, and surviving is a creative task.”

Police-Car-jpgIf she found fault with any aspect of the post, it was with its failure to mention how extensively control-freak parents exercise control over the behavior their kids. Any attempt by an abused child to reach out to a teacher or other caring adult is usually neutralized by the parent. As can be illustrated by the common practice of police to return runaway children to their abusers, the child is rarely believed.

I knew that. I should have mentioned it, but I didn’t. It was a glaring oversight. But what about the idea of a solution being hidden within a problem? Is there any traction to this notion?

“Absolutely,” said Lone Heron. She told me about working with one of her clients, a young man who was experiencing pain that defied the abilities of conventional doctors to dissipate with their drugs. After more than a year denying that he felt any anger towards his father, the young man finally opened up about the anger that he did indeed harbor for his dad. He spoke about it nonstop for an hour-and-a-half. The pain was finally broken and the young man felt immediate relief.

“Anger—and even evil—are good teachers,” she said. “They cannot be denied. Maybe you don’t want to invite them home for dinner, but acknowledging them can be the key to healing.”


Lone Heron (a pen-name) has told the true story of her upbringing in a severely abusive family. The book’s title is Inherited Rage, and it relates how she survived by killing both her parents as a teen, was never convicted of the crime, and how since then she has walked the long road to redemption.


Groove of the Day

Listen to Del Shannon performing “My Little Runaway”


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