As P.T. Barnum so famously said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” And apparently, at about 9:30 pm one May evening in 1948, that was me.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but this weekend I blew five bucks streaming Jurassic World. I haven’t been ripped off so egregiously since I was a little kid and some teenage punk on an ice cream cart tricked me into paying $5.00 for one lousy ice cream bar. That was a lot of money back then. Maybe five dollars isn’t so much now, but it hurts just as much.
I’m a vulnerable person—a lifelong dinosaur nut—and there oughta be a law to keep slick Hollywood types from taking advantage of people like me.
The film was so predictable, the characters so stereotypical. So many of the characters were such one-dimensional assholes, I was glad to see them killed off; and as for the others, they were so ignorant, I didn’t care. If they had been US Congressmen, I would have had more concern.
By contrast, the original Jurassic Park is just as thrilling today as when it was released in 1993.
The latest film has made so much money, Spielberg’s studio is planning to make Jurassic World into a trilogy. According to one studio insider, the sequel will be released in summer of 2018, while the third movie will be hitting theaters in late 2019 or early 2020.
Maybe I’ll luck out and be dead by then.
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