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Since Derek has been living here, there are at least two things he doesn’t understand about me and that really piss him off. One is my steadfast belief in Reincarnation, and the fact that I take so much solace from it. The second is my preference, and comfort, in living alone. I think he believes that there is something wrong with me, and that my thinking is in need of reform.
He is not alone in thinking this way. It seems to me that our society is prejudiced against people who prefer to be alone. Society places a lot of stock in saying that human beings are “social animals,” that people must live with others in their natural state, and that anyone who lives alone must be unhappy. Being alone is predominantly seen by most people as a pathology.
If you think this way, I’m sorry to burst your bubble. Solitude does not necessarily entail feelings of loneliness, and may, in fact, be one’s sole source of genuine pleasure for those (like me) who choose it with deliberate intent.
For example, in religious contexts, some saints preferred silence and found immense pleasure in being alone with God. The Buddha attained enlightenment through uses of meditation, deprived of sensory input, bodily necessities, and external desires—including social interaction.
The context of solitude is attainment of pleasure from within, but this does not necessitate complete detachment from the external world. Aliana, my home health care nurse, says you can never be happy unless you’re content being with yourself, and I agree with her.
In psychology, introverted individuals may require spending time away from people to recharge. Sociologists have documented that growing numbers of people are single by choice, and relish the opportunity to live as they please. Being alone gives people the autonomy to choose where to live, what TV shows to watch, and what to eat for dinner. Being single often means we have fewer social obligations and can pursue hobbies and adventures that we couldn’t if married.
Singlehood isn’t for everyone, but a growing number of adults are staying single longer than ever before, and are taking these years to pursue career goals and take risks that they might not if married. And people who stay single for life are often just as happy as their peers who marry. They learn to arrange their lives so that they are surrounded by the friends, activities, and physical environments that enhance their daily happiness.
Derek has an excuse for being wrong because he’s so young. It takes years to become comfortable in your own skin. However, if you still feel uncomfortable with aloneness, do you have a good excuse?
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Wandervogel Diary 