Author Archive for



20
Apr
16

lost corridors

corridor 1.

by Alex King

When I met Lone Heron, she encouraged me to read her book, Inherited Rage. I’ll share with you my thoughts:

Desolation comes from negligence. I formed this theory in my teenage years, and now, this work has confirmed what I’ve believed. In turn, desolation breeds desperation. Child suicide is tragic, but child parricide is heinous. Both are motivated by the same driving force. When are we, as a society, going to stop passing judgement (good or ill) on causality and start addressing causation.

This book gives an excellent inside view of the mentality associated with parricide cases. Because Lone Heron was older than me at the time of the incident, her mind fought harder to defend itself against the horrors she was enduring. This resulted in a severe altered perception. It’s near impossible for most adults to regress to a preteen age, but this piece describes something well within the capability of most.

Backstory is necessary when delving into the psychological break that transpires just before the incident. The first part of Inherited Rage is difficult to read. It was hard for me to process the level of torture Lone Heron, as a child and teenager, was forced to endure. in the latter portion, however, she recounts the start of her personal path to redemption.

No psychology text can replace a first-hand account. I recommend this book for anyone interested in gaining a deeper insight into the causation of parricide. Sensationalism, as portrayed in the media, robs these victims of circumstance of their true story. Each telling is unique so I encourage you to read this work and, if interested in specific correlations, email me at alexkingansuz24@gmail.com and I will provide this information.

Perception is reality. Damaging a child’s perception will have terrible consequence in their future. Let’s aid them in the path to redemption through compassion and understanding.

.

۞

Weather Report

82° and Clear

19
Apr
16

life renewed

self_deception_lumen.

by Alex King

Following the events of my last post, I met up with Lone Heron. She was traveling to Estrella Vista and had graciously agreed to let me ride with her. Though I had no idea what I was in for, I could tell this trip would not be boring. Because I know my personality is abrasive, I decided to, at first, offer in my own way lighthearted conversation on this ride. My offer was insistently refused.

As always, my first ploy was to attempt the use of the red herring. I wanted to divert her attention. However, Lone Heron did not allow the conversation to be diverted. She persisted in digging for my story long enough that I finally decided to start telling it. Little by little, I began to divest more of the truth. We were walking backwards through my experiences, and as we did, she regaled me with her observations.

Lone Heron and I remained locked in debate for almost the entire trip. Throughout this process, we learned a lot about each other. She helped me find my way out of the chasms in my own mind. When a person’s psyche is shattered, it’s hard not to get lost. Add advanced emotional disorders to the situation (like rage) and you’ve got a recipe for the next award-winning horror film. No matter the situation, redemption is possible. Society knocks “jailhouse religion”, but halfheartedly trying something is better than not trying at all.

By the time Lone Heron left to return home, my body was healed, my mind was vastly recovered (and is still on the mend, now) and in my heart, I knew I had an ally. In essence, I had been given a brand-new life.

۞

Weather Report

82° and Partly Cloudy

18
Apr
16

honor to the merciful

Have Mercy sign.

by Alex King

I remember a time years ago when I had completely lost hope in humanity. All I saw, everywhere I went, was a society functioning. Nowhere was there life. I began to believe that all humans had lost their vitality, had lost those things that make us beautiful, unique and powerful. This was the cause of the “dark days.” My time at the crossroads and my journey back to Estrella Vista once again opened my mind to the fantasy of utopia, my eyes to the evidence that there are those still striving for it.

During my travels, I lost everything. The details are inconsequential, because now, in hindsight, I see that this was necessary. While I was on the street, destitute, two people aided me in small, but very significant, ways. These two, as I came to find out, were merely a precursor. They helped me to open my heart to those to come. The first stranger gave me food and a small amount of money. The other gave me socks and shoes. Both times, these strangers approached me while I was resting. Oftentimes, we need to simply sit and wait.

In other instances, a great effort is required. My left knee and both of my feet were damaged. Thankfully, I had shoes and socks, though I hadn’t eaten since that stranger gave me a meal. It was nighttime and the rain was cold. Shivering, hungry, in pain and exhausted near to collapse, I walked as fast as I could. Some higher power was watching over me because I knew that, somewhere ahead of me, someone would be waiting. This individual gave me a lift, fed me, gave me a place to stay for the night, gave me clothes and dropped me off at a convenient rendezvous point for Lone Heron.

I honor the merciful, those I’ve met as well as those unknown to me. Myriad forms of mercy can be called upon to be bestowed on those whose paths we cross. It takes a world of courage to show this mercy. Nothing is ever gained without sacrifice. Most of the time, the only sacrifice needed is that we crucify our own fear and pride. Unfortunately, common acts of mercy are becoming less common, but each of these acts possesses the capacity to alter lives for the better.

Note that common acts of mercy are not at all common, but extraordinary. To those in this world who have the courage to show mercy, I give my utmost respect. Without their light, despair would have consumed my personal sun.

۞

Weather Report

60° Cloudy, Windy and Rain

17
Apr
16

crossroads

crossroads.

by Alex King

To state the obvious, a crossroads is a meeting point for travelers. Each who passes through is on a journey of some sort. Some journeys are simple, those traveling from one place to another. Others are sad, wanderers lost, trying to find their path. Some of these travelers are on a good path and utilize the crossroads as a resting point. The last are malicious, nefarious in every intent, their path purposefully darkened.

At the outset of my journey, I was one of the last sort. For personal reasons, I decided to spend some time at one particular crossroads. Being unable to continue for a full day, I determined to keep a vigil through the night. This night will forever hold a monumental place in my mind. There were many tests, trials and lessons in store. Deception, fear and humility are the three I’ll discuss here.

We are shielded by the benevolent forces we call upon. Some say God, others look to the Great Spirits, and still others confer with their own superego. What truly matters is that we keep our eyes and ears open, our minds focused on the light. In this heightened level of awareness, Truth is common sense. Asatruar call spiritual deception the mists of Nivlheim. Like a mist, it veils the mind, clouds the eyes and clogs the ears.

Continuing this apt analogy, mists bring with them shadows, from which are wrought the elements of fear. To fear the dark is to fear the unknown. It is the unknown that terrifies humanity. What we find common, we find comfortable, and when comfort is lost, fear is born. Fear is multifaceted, each aspect representing another unknown. Conversely, knowledge brings confidence, an aspect of love, dispelling fear.

As I overcame these and other challenges throughout the night, my greatest challenge came to light: pride. I recognized and quelled the blatant forms of it, but I couldn’t find the root to dig it out. Of all the things Lone Heron taught me, the greatest lesson she has left me with is that of humility. I am much better equipped, now, to recognize some of the more subtle aspects of pride.

I’ve come a long way and I have a long way yet to go, but I thank the gods for what healing I have received. Finally, I’m on the mend.

.

۞

Weather Report

77° and Clear

16
Apr
16

gone

IMG_1173.

Last night Lone Heron set out for home. I couldn’t even convince her to spend the night and head out in the morning, freshened for the long drive. She says a power nap or two, on the road, will sustain her. She is always pushing.

She spent her last minutes with Alex, collecting fossils on the desert, exhorting him to do well. I am glad I was spared the experience. I slept.

Now it is up to Alex and me to make it alone. That will be the real test. Maybe we will do better this time.

۞

Weather Report

81° and Clear

15
Apr
16

back to normal

traffic cone.

Lone Heron has spent a couple nights away from this place when she has sampled the local motels. She says she needs a tub to soak in, that this climate pulls the moisture from her body—but I think the reality is she cannot abide the close quarters and loss of privacy entailed.

We are all rugged individualists and accustomed to living alone. It is a miracle we have all gotten on so well for nearly two weeks—far in excess of the three days when house guests and fish are said to begin stinking.

Lone Heron has begun receiving emails from her bodyworking clientele in Georgia, asking when she will return. They say they need her. She says she will go back on Monday, but only time will tell. It took me years of ambivalence until symptoms of homesickness for West Texas began to appear. This life takes some getting used to… I cannot expect more, so I am taking it slow.

Yesterday I signed the revised documents for the Estrella Vista Trust before a notary. They establish Lone Heron and Alex as two of the four successor trustees of the property after I die (with my son Henry and Nathan Ybanez as the remaining two), and both Alex and Lone Heron were witnesses.

I can tell that already Lone Heron is experiencing second thoughts: “What have I gotten into?” Alex is experiencing none—but then, he is young and has no idea what the future will bring. Lone Heron, on the other hand, is reluctant to admit that she will some day give up the life she has worked so hard to establish.

Today we are breaking up again. Alex and I are driving to Alpine and taking in the annual “Gem and Minerals Show” (no cover), which he is quite excited about. Lone Heron is remaining behind to visit Whitebear and his wife Julie, her future neighbors. Tonight we will compare notes, and hopefully neither will have more second thoughts than already exist.

.

۞

Weather Report

89° and Clear

14
Apr
16

freedom of speech denied

censorship.

by Alex King

We are given the right to freedom of speech by the constitution of the United States of America. At least, that’s what those in power preach. Recently, some new information has come to my attention.

In many states, DOC is trying its hand at censorship. This is the blatant emergence of that tyrannical force I’ve previously mentioned. I would like to have a public opinion on the matter: do you believe it’s legal for the Department of Corrections (guardsman and caretakers of incarcerated persons) to censor the free public?

Yesterday, DOC was permitted to stop those in their care from having any voice in social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, etc. If today we stand idly by while DOC stops the free person from discussing the incarcerated on social media, what will tomorrow bring? Perhaps the next thing we’ll see is the emergence of a new aspect of the sentence to include having the thumbs and tongue cut off. Perhaps DOC will next censor private blogs so incarcerated persons cannot be mentioned there as well. Maybe they’ll get confident and try both simultaneously.

When will it end? When will those in power stop demanding more power? Prisoners are already physically restrained, mentally restrained through lack of proper education, constrained in matters of communication, halted from proper emotional/spiritual development… need I go on? DOC got its wish: they have the licensure to crush in mind, body and spirit those entrusted by the courts to their care. Now, they seek power over the free person.

Again I ask, do you believe this to be legal? Do you think this is just?

.

۞

Weather Report

86° and Clear




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